Hi everyone! Hope your summer’s off to a swell start! Sorry I haven’t written more often, but lately I’ve been overwhelmed by laziness. (This is where Carrie would say something like, “What are you talking about? That’s your natural state!”.. or something with a lot more colorful colloquialisms!)

Anyway, I’m writing today because it’s my 69th birthday. Not sure if it’s something to celebrate or to run from. (Don’t you love the people who say cute things like, “Yeah, it’s my birthday, but I stopped counting,” as if that statement somehow puts the brakes on the advance of time.)

A few posts back, I pondered the question of when does ‘getting old’ simply turn into ‘being old.’ A celebratory birthday call this morning from my much older cousin — we’ll call her Barbara — gave me the answer. I’ll likely have to stop calling her my much older cousin soon, because once you’re old, it’s doesn’t matter if you’re 80 or 92…. you’re both old! It’s not like when you’re 13 and you don’t want your 8-year-old little brother hanging around with you anymore. When you’re old, you’re timeless — at least until you hit 100, in which case, you’ve joined an even more exclusive club! Then, they count living by the month!! (Like a baby.. full circle.)

“Hey how old’s your grandmother?”

“She’s 101 and 7 months!”

“She’s ADORABLE!… Can she hear me?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, CONGRATULATIONS ON …. BEING OLD, GRANDMA!”

(Fart)

Anyway, Barbara and I came to the conclusion that you become old when you turn from 69 to 70! So next year, I will have to change the name of this blog from “That’s Getting Old” to “That’s Old, Folks!” That, according to my much older cousin, is when the cute humor of “What was the name of that book?” turns into “What’s a book?”

It’s when the world around you speeds up so much. “I don’t understand why all these cars need to be flying past me as if I’m standing still,” I’ll say to Carrie in the car.

Carrie: “Schmuck! You’re in PARK!”

It’s when you stop saying, “I can carry those boxes up into the attic,” and instead say, “We need to get rid of all this crap!”

It’s when you look at the photo album from your wedding and don’t recognize half the people in it. It’s OK, though, because they’re more than likely dead.

It’s when the requests to go out with friends on a weekend night narrow to a select few, and you still wish for a bad cold so you don’t have to go.

And, it’s when those nagging little aches and pains turn into more serious diagnoses. Knock on wood, we haven’t seen any of those yet, but your self-assessments become more frequent, and every new mole or pain that’s not muscular guarantee a trip to yet another new specialist.

But today’s not the day to think about those things. (What? You just did, ya freak!) Today’s the day to be thankful for the phone calls and good wishes from family and friends, and enjoy another year of (relative) good health … and much continued laughter. (One thing I did notice.. as you get older, the birthday cake gets smaller. A sheetcake from your 5th birthday becomes a cupcake for your 75th. Why? NOW you’re worried about diabetes??)

But check back in a year and we’ll see how things are going at 70! For now, I have to run … to the pharmacy, to pick up some prep for my upcoming colonoscopy! Wish me luck!!