For a few years now, we’ve taken this journey together towards old age. We’ve laughed, we’ve loved, we’ve shed some tears, and still the inexorable march goes on.

I was ruminating about getting old the other day and I was struck by a thought: How do you know when you’ve gone from “getting old” to simply “being old?”

Think about it: I remember being about 8 years old, and talking with some friends whose uncle was staying with them. “How old’s your uncle?” I remember asking one of the friends. “I’m not sure,” he said. “I think he’s in his 40’s.” “Wow,” I said. “He’s OLD!”

Now, of course, having gone from 8-year-old Long Island Press paperboy to a 66-year-old, grizzled veteran of the newspaper wars, when I see an obituary for someone in their late 80s, I think “Too bad. She wasn’t that old.”

Perspective is a funny thing, right?

So, I asked folks in my circle how they can recognize that they’ve gone from “getting old” to “being old.” And the platitudes began:

“You’re only as old as you feel.”

“Age is all in your mind.”

“You’re only as old as your birth certificate says you are.” (Wait … what??)

OK.. so, I’m only as old as I feel. Well, I’ve never been 90, so I don’t know what that feels like. But when I need an hourglass to time how long it takes me to pick something up from the floor, that’s not a young person’s problem. I do, however, take pride and admit to showing off just a bit when I show my family that I can still bend down and touch my … knees.

Age is in my mind? What mind? To quote the late, great actor Ned Glass from the motion picture “West Side Story”: Do I mind? I have no mind. I’m the village idiot!

As for the birth certificate, that’s long gone. Besides, in the context of this discussion, what does that even mean?

I think you’re officially old when physical pain or cognitive decline (bad words!) prevent you from doing things you always could. In our current age bracket, we can still do the things we’ve always done, and laugh about it taking longer to do them. Like coming up with what you ate earlier — in your mind, not from your stomach! UCH!!). Or, picking that thing up off the floor. Or, riding a cart for a round of golf, because a cart gets us back to the clubhouse much quicker if we have to take a leak during play. (Leaking during play? Is that ANOTHER sign of oldness? I guess that depends!) OH NO HE DI-IN’T!!

Carrie and I went out to dinner last week with my older brother and MUCH older cousin (what IS time, after all?). We compromised at 7 p.m. Alan, my brother, likes to eat at like 5 o’clock so he can be in bed by 8 because …. he’s retired?? And the next day was … Sunday?? [HUGE points and a shoutout for anyone who can name the earlier blog post in which this similar phrasing was used! Family members and their friends are ineligible to win and need not apply. Prize details are … nowhere.]

Anyway, as most getting older folks do on a Saturday night, we talked about this very topic. My MUCH older cousin — let’s call her Barbara — who will be celebrating a milestone birthday this year, pondered the question overnight, and messaged me this:

“Growing older is having the ability to fondly reminisce while we are still able to share precious time with loved ones. Growing old is when all we have left are those memories.” Then, she said we should make more memories before we are too old.

Nice, right? She’s a doll. And I’d say she’s wise beyond her years, but frankly, in terms of the history of mankind, not much has happened beyond her years.

She’s laughing, right?